Accepting Uncertainty
Hello Everyone,
I hope this post finds you all doing well as we move into the Fall season. Here in Oregon, Fall more or less arrived last week with lots of rain!! I’ve not posted for a few months because I have been working on some other projects, which I will tell you more about in a few weeks.
Accepting Uncertainty
As I’ve written about in other places, uncertainty is at the heart of OCD. One of OCD’s many tricks is to make you think you can’t move forward unless you feel sure that nothing bad will happen. If you listen to this message from your OCD it will be very hard, if not impossible, to make significant progress. You must recognize that this feeling of uncertainty is part of your OCD, accept the feeling (and the anxiety that will accompany it), resist doing compulsions and act anyway. You must wash your hands only once, resist the urge to wash them excessively or numerous times even though your OCD will be telling you your hands still could be covered in germs and you may get sick or even worse, make your entire family sick. To help my clients accept uncertainty head on, I often will suggest that after washing their hands they say an “Uncertainty Phrase” to themselves such as “I’m not sure my hands are completely clean, and I have to accept and live with the possibility I might get sick”. The phrase you choose to use needs to reflect the exact thing you’re afraid might happen or did happen. So rather than worrying about not having washed your hands properly, your uncertainty phrase might be “I’m not sure I locked the door properly, I won’t know for sure and I have to accept that”. This isn’t a substitute for the exposure work that is necessary to manage OCD, but it is a useful adjunct tool.
When to Use an Uncertainty Phrase
One of the best times to use an uncertainty phrase is following a planned exposure. For example, let’s say that you are doing exposure involving locking your front door once as you leave and then not going back and double checking or triple checking to make sure you locked the door properly. As you walk away and start to feel anxious because you don’t feel certain you locked the door properly, you can use the uncertainty phrase to really focus your attention on the uncertainty and the need to accept the uncertainty rather than engage in compulsions in a vain effort to feel sure. If you decide to use this technique, be aware that you will almost certainly feel even more anxious. The second time is when throughout the day as you go about your normal business you may encounter situations that trigger your OCD, what we might call a more spontaneous rather than a planned exposure. This is also a useful time to employ the uncertainty phrase rather than engaging compulsions to be sure about something. To on purpose turn directly towards the uncertainty by repeating once again the uncertainty phrase.
Recognizing and accepting that uncertainty is at the heart of OCD and that this feeding must be recognized, accepted and challenged is at the heart of managing OCD.
As always, let me know if I can be of any help and I’m happy to answer any questions you might have. This post isn’t meant as a substitute for therapy and so if you’re struggling with anxiety/OCD please consult a qualified therapist.
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Stay safe,
Dr Bob